My new blogging home is over at http://www.catherineelms.co.uk. If you’re already subscribed to this blog via email, you’ll automatically be subscribed to the new one too, so don’t worry. If you’re subscribed via RSS feed, you might need to manually change over. See you over there!
Both this blog and my website (catherineelms.co.uk) are currently in stasis for the next week while I finish putting together my brand new website! Please be patient while this exciting (but bloody fiddly) change takes place. Remember you can keep in touch with me on Twitter, Facebook, and now Instagram!
BTW if you’re subscribed to this blog, you’ll be automatically subscribed to the new one when it launches too
The 13th issue of my perzine, Here In My Head, is out now! 40 pages, 1/4 sized.
On shyness, social anxiety, self-esteem, privilege, confidence, sharing your voice and struggling with adulthood. £1 retail (free postage), or get in touch for trades! Buy a copy by clicking on the button below*
I am also very excited to be tabling at Queer Zine Fest London on Sunday 1st December, so any London peeps can pick up a copy there!
* – I’m putting the ‘buy now’ link here instead of on my shop page because my website is currently in stasis while my partner and I are redesigning it (and it’s taking AGES – I wish these things didn’t take so long, but I guess that’s how things go when you do everything on a shoestring budget).
I performed at Mozarts for the first time this month, which was such a good gig! I was incredibly nervous, my hands were shaking and my mouth kept drying out and I’m not sure I performed at my best, but I got through it despite my nerves, and got lots of positive comments. Plus, the organiser Sera told me my music reminded her of Kate Bush! :) The following week, I played a great gig at Jack Murphy’s in Swansea (above), and although I was nervous there too it was a really good set, and the other acts were really kind and complimentary. Unfortunately I’ve been ill for the last 6 weeks or so (such a pain!), so I’ve taken some time away from gigging while I recover and am currently spending some time back in my music room working on new songs.
I’ve struggled a little lately with feeling really nervous when I’m on stage; I think it’s because I’ve felt kinda ill and so haven’t been at the top of my game, and I worry that people will be disappointed by my performances. I feel really bad that I have to take some time away from performing live, but then again I’d rather play a really good set when I’m feeling healthy than muddle through when I’m unwell. My next gig is in a fortnight, and I hope to be feeling better by then.
My friends and I finally finished putting together Sonorus: Feminist Perspectives on Harry Potter! You can buy a copy from the Sonorus website. It’s turned out to be such an amazing project, and I’m thrilled to have been a part of it. We’ve sold about 50 copies in the first 2 weeks!! :) I’m currently working on the 13th issue of my perzine, which I hope to complete before Halloween (an apt issue number, I think!).
I’ve read a few more lifestyle design ebooks, including ‘Operation Creative Career Cheer‘ and ‘20 Ways to Create Your Best Life Ever‘ (above). I’m finding them pretty inspiring, and they’re quick cheerful reads. In terms of booky books, I’m currently really into ‘The Shining’. I’ve never read the book or watched the film before, so I’m new to the whole thing. I love Stephen King’s writing, I always get so drawn into his books! Next in my to-read pile are ‘House of Leaves’, which I started ages ago and desperately need to finish, and zinester Maranda Elizabeth’s debut novel ‘Ragdoll House’.
Due to my illness, I’ve been spending a lot of time snuggled up in bed or on the sofa watching loads of Netflix! I’m currently watching bits of Doctor Who, Buffy, Hannibal, Agents of Shield, and Stargate Atlantis. I could spend my entire life watching films and TV shows and still feel like I haven’t watched enough; I also want to find the time to start watching Orange is the New Black, Supernatural, Battlestar Galactica, Fringe, Sherlock, and Torchwood!
Some things that have made me happy recently:
- Starting a goal journal. It can be very difficult to keep track of all my goals and accomplishments regularly, especially during weeks when my day job has tired me out and I want to crawl into my bed every evening, so I’ve started writing everything down in a dedicated goal journal. I keep track of what I have to do this week to work on my goals, what I’ve done recently that I’m proud of, plus any inspiring quotes or tips that I find. Mine is a little Paperblanks notebook (above) – perfect for carrying around in my bag. I love it.
- My birthday! I’m not very good around my birthdays usually – I feel like it should be a fairly big event, a day where I do everything I want to do and am happy from start to finish; anything less than that feels like a big let-down. Unfortunately it never turns out that way, and sometimes the pressure to be happy and stress-free for one pre-set day can make you more acutely aware of stress and bad feelings sneaking in. Anyway, this year’s birthday nearly ended up the same, especially as I had to work on the day, but thankfully it ended up being one of the best birthdays I’ve had for years. My darling bf surprised me at work with a bouquet of flowers and a picnic hamper, and we went for a delicious picnic with all of my favourite foods at lunchtime! It was amazing. Afterwards we went out for an Indian with my family, which is a big treat for me as I never have Indian food due to my IBS! I was unwell on the evening of my birthday (not IBS related) and went to bed feeling kinda glum, but otherwise it was a good day.
- Zine fests! I tabled at Bristol Comic and Zine Fair last weekend, which was mostly good fun, although I did feel pretty out of place alongside the professional comic artists and illustrators. I’ve managed to secure a table at the Queer Zine Fest London in December, which I’m so excited for! My friends are coming with me, and we have all pledged to have a new zine out by then to take to the event!
- Watching TED Talks! I used to waste a lot of my spare time on my iPad not really doing anything, mostly just refreshing my social media apps. I decided to delete some apps (Buzzfeed was the biggest time-waster), and vowed to stop stressing about reading ALL the tweets in my twitter timeline. Instead, I started watching TED Talks when I had spare time. It’s been such an amazing change! TED Talks are great – they’re usually around 12 minutes long, and are a great introduction to a subject. I’ve learned a lot from them, and feel I am edifying my mind more than I was reading articles with titles like “10 cats that look like Miley Cyrus”. Check out my YouTube channel for my recent favourites!
- Looking forward to Halloween! It’s my favourite holiday, and I’ve changed my Twitter name to celebrate
It’s my birthday at the end of the month! I’m so excited, I always get really excited for birthdays and special occasions, especially when there are presents involved. (by the way, if anyone wants to buy me a little present, my amazon wish list is available here.)
To celebrate my birthday, all my zines on the website are BUY ONE GET ONE FREE until MONDAY 30 SEPTEMBER (cheapest item free)!
I don’t appear to be able to do any sort of fancy discount code using Paypal, so when you buy a zine, just write in the sellers’ instructions box which other zine you want included for free. Check it out here!
The Not Sorry EP is still available to buy as a physical CD for full price, but you can now download a digital copy for FREE at my bandcamp page! This is a permanent thing and not a sale thing, to prepare for my new material being released, which should hopefully be very soon! (I know I’ve been saying that for weeks, but life stuff keeps getting in the way)
A perfect description of introverts! Any abusive people will get referred to this comic from now on:
And here are some links to blog posts I’ve enjoyed this month. :)
This honest trailer for Joel Schumacher’s ‘Batman & Robin’ reminds us why this movie killed the franchise
On Internet Friends and In-Person Friends, Or As They Are More Commonly Known, “Friends”. http://www.themarysue.com/on-internet-friends-and-in-person-friends-or-as-they-are-more-commonly-known-friends/
As a Whovian, I was very excited to hear about Peter Capaldi playing the 12th Doctor! Here’s The Mary Sue’s take on the casting. I personally am thoroughly enjoying all the YouTube/gifset mash-ups of Malcolm Tucker shouting at Daleks and Cyberman; that’ll see me through to Christmas.
Revenge porn is a frightening and disgustingly misogynistic internet phenomenon. Feminist blog The F Word wrote a great post about it last month, which you can read here.
Did you hear about the #twittersilence thing that happened about 3 weeks ago? A number of prominent female twitter users, notably spearheaded by Caitlin Moran, left twitter for a whole day as a response to Twitter’s poor handling of misogynistic trolling and bullying. Feministing wrote an excellent article about why responding to abuse with silence doesn’t work.
I’m loving the Letter Writers Alliance blog right now! Here’s a great article of theirs on the etiquette of replying to penpal letters.
This article really resonated with me and my friends – on why women should try not to first and only compliment each other’s appearance.
What men mean when they talk about their “crazy” ex-girlfriend: http://girlsgetbusyzine.tumblr.com/post/57698005652/what-men-mean-when-they-talk-about-their-crazy
I love love love this. Soc Images blogs about a great example of the way that women, but not men, are sexualized in our society. In this case it’s a series of American Apparel ads. I know, low hanging fruit. This example is extra great, though.
Have you ever wondered why heart attack victims on TV and film are always male? The answer is incredibly interesting! http://monaeltahawy.tumblr.com/post/57830364188/except-you-cant-show-a-topless-woman-on-tv-and
I found this great comic on conversations about sexual harassment on twitter the other week, check it out!
This article is a bit old now, but really fucking good – on why Ross Geller from Friends was a total ‘Nice Guy’ creep.
This is why it might not be a good idea to assume that people who use rape threats online don’t mean it:
What have you been reading this month?
I played at the Uplands Music Festival last weekend, which was awesome! The venue was a wee bit quiet during my set, but as always the small crowd there were very supportive and enthusiastic. I also played a few other successful gigs, which I wrote about here and here. I’ve got 2 lined up for September at the moment; check them out on my ‘live’ page.
August was the month of the minizine! I got the feminist minizines I made with my friend Eleri reprinted on lovely coloured paper, and have been giving them out for free with zine orders:
I also created 2 new minizines – one for my friend Nat, who’s moving away to Canada, titled “Things We Will Miss About Nat” (inside page pictured below), and one titled “Beauty Comes In All Shapes and Sizes” to put inside beauty magazines and teen magazines; I hope it’ll help its readers feel a bit better about not looking like an airbrushed model.
I’m currently working on issue 13 of my perzine, which I hope to release next month in time for Bristol Zine Fest, where I will be tabling!
I’ve felt a little rushed off my feet this month with all the various bits I’ve been doing, and the extra shifts I’ve been doing at work, so unfortunately haven’t read as much as I would have liked. I did read an interesting book called Witchcraft: A Very Short Introduction - I haven’t huuuugely enjoyed any of the Very Short Introduction books I’ve read, but I was given a free copy so thought I’d give it a go. I actually found it quite a frustrating read, as the (white male) author claimed that witch hunts were NOT rooted in misogyny, and that radical feminism’s claims that they were are just “horror fiction”. I find this a bit perplexing, especially as he confirmed that 85% of victims were female, that women were seen during this time as “inherently evil”, and that the Malleus Maleficarum condemned women as “an evil of nature”. Of course there were other societal factors at play, but I think the fact that the vast majority of victims were female speaks volumes and should not be overlooked!
I love this dress! I very rarely spend money on new clothes for myself, but I found this on sale in Miss Selfridge for only £10 (down from £60)! It’s black and lacy and I adore it.
I’ve started getting into wearing less black and more neutral colours – I love the way my new red hair pops against those muted tones. Here I’m wearing a pale blue shirt, a dark green denim skirt, and my pewter DMs. My mirror is not very good for selfies, so not sure if you can see this all that clearly!
Black summer dress, blue denim shirt, pewter DMs. (Shamelessly posing next to a picture of my face on the Kit Launch billboard, ack)
Some things that have made me happy recently:
- Hitting week 4 of Couch to 5K! I’ve been doing this running program for a few weeks now, and although I’ve been struggling and have felt very frustrated with my progress at times, I’ve finally broken through a wall and made it to the halfway point. I can feel my stamina and fitness improving, which is amazing and so encouraging. Running gives me such a clear sense of achievement, and it makes me feel unconditionally proud of myself in a way that my other pursuits often don’t.
- Being invited to play a gig at Mozarts this week. I love the venue, it’s so cozy and the atmosphere is supportive and friendly. I’m genuinely more excited than nervous about this gig, possibly for the first time ever!
- Celebrating my one-year anniversary with my bf last weekend! We’d both had a tiring week so instead of going out he cooked me a romantic meal and bought me a bouquet of red roses what a sweetie.
- Dying my hair pillarbox red! It feels good to get back to red after a few weeks of copper. Read about how I did it here.
- Writing new music again. I hadn’t made time for writing for months, partly due to laziness and partly waiting for some dramatic sort of inspiration to strike (you know, that whole “I can’t write when I’m happy” trope?). Actually, as unromantic as it sounds, to create art you have to turn up at the page – i.e. sit down at your desk and write, not wait until you want to write. I’ve been setting aside time every few days to just sit with my notebook and write, practice my song writing skill like I would any other skill.
- Feeling the cooler weather return (unpopular opinion alert)! Our summer was nice, especially as I got to experience the sunshine during my booked annual leave; alas, I am an autumnal girl at heart, and am looking forward to the cooler weather, longer nights, and crunchy leaves, not to mention my 24th birthday at the end of this month!