What I’ve Been Reading, May ’13

This exemplifies me perfectly.

Anyway.  Here are some fun/interesting/informative things I’ve been reading this month!

—

Unfortunately, and unsurprisingly, Disney say they aren’t backing down on that sexy Merida redesign, despite ‘Brave’ creator Brenda Chapman blasting Disney for the “blatant sexism” of the makeover.

Judith Butler’s theory of gender performativity explained with cats! (I still don’t get it though)

Lez Zeppelin, Vag Halen and AC/DShe – meet the all-female tribute bands (make sure you watch the clips)!  The women featured are incredible!

This is pretty eye-opening… and depressing.  Reasons why John Lennon was a horrible person.

In case you were in any doubt that we live in a rape culture, here’s broadcaster Nick Ross arguing that “not all rape is rape“.  My favourite quote: “Rape victims were once treated as though it was all their fault, but have we now gone too far the other way?”  How can you go “too far the other way” in treating rape victims like it’s their fault?! There should always be a bit of saying it’s their fault?

Shameless self-promotion here: I wrote a review of Clare Balding’s Secrets of a Suffragette for The F Word, check it out!

July is International Zine Month! What are you doing to celebrate?  Spill the Zines will hopefully be blogging about all 31 activities listed!

Twitter vs female protagonists in video games, or, this is what happens when you’re a woman on the internet with an opinion.

Just superb – everything that’s wrong this Moffat’s approach to gender in Doctor Who.

Amazing! What villains do on their day off.

“Hacker Who Helped Expose Steubenville Could Get More Prison Time Than The 2 Convicted Rapists.”  That’s a real headline. And it’s true.  Humanity is fucked.

There’s a great new blog called The Fementalists, all about the intersection of feminism and mental health.  The other week, they shared an awesome post from But You Don’t Look Sick which details The Spoon Theory of disability and illness.  It’s a fantastic read.

@rosalarian‘s take on the nasty misogyny following Angelina Jolie’s double mastectomy. Perfect!

Check out this Amazing Batgirl/Nightwing themed wedding!
http://bit.ly/13tpnwf 

New favourite tumblr: Flip the News, a blog that flips the gender or race of the subjects in news articles.

This made me laugh like a drain – The Sims career ladder was ridiculous, wasn’t it?

This is amazing. A woman calls out her boss on a sexualised poster he posted in her place of work, manages to effect change. High levels of badassery.

I can relate SO much to this blog! How Not To Be A Dick To Your Friend With A Digestive Disorder:
http://jane.io/10GBfqp 

Wishes do come true! How to make crème brulee dragon balls!

A great post on rape culture by Soc Images.

Here’s a 14-year-old named Tina covering Eddie Van Halen’s ‘Eruption’ and killing it.

I love this brilliant reversal of all the Nice Guy moaning about the how terrible the friendzone is. It really gets to the heart of why I think complaints about being friendzoned are so gross.

This is what a drunk feminist looks like

This weekend was amazing. Ridiculous, heroic, amazing.

On Friday night I played a 30 minute set at the Masons Arms in Llanelli.  My friends organised an amazing surprise for me – they all turned up wearing t-shirts emblazened with my name! So much love!

The set itself went incredibly well – it was my best performance by far to date!  Lots of people came up to me afterwards to congratulate me, it was amazing.  I felt very proud of myself.  Daf also managed to record some great audio from the gig, so this weekend we’re hoping to go through it and possibly put some live tracks online for free download! I’d like to release a live EP sometime this summer, so keep your eyes open for that

After I got off stage, we all had some celebratory drinks, and danced and sung along with the other acts.

Then my friend Rhys got into a clapping competition with a complete stranger for like 2 hours?!  They even had their own hashtag – #ClapOfTheTitans (sounds like an epic STI!).  We were scared it was all going to result in a fight, so Kirsty and I had to break it up before things got out of hand (pun intended).

Kirsty and Rhys came back to mine afterwards and Daf’s place, where we had long conversations about social justice and Coronation Street, and didn’t get to bed until 2am.

The next day we all went for a Toby Carvery unlimited buffet breakfast (“unlimited as in… neverending?!”), then went back home for a tactical power nap.  That evening, we all headed out to Swansea for our friend Caitlin’s birthday night out, which was ridiculous and lots of fun. I was hideously drunk though; in fact, there are vast swathes of the evening that I can barely remember.  I’m not sure I’ve ever been that drunk before!  I was originally going to write a long blog post about the evening, with accompanying photos, but then when I looked back through my photos they were mostly blurry group shots and selfies taken outside Popworld.  Here is one photo that I do like though, taken by the birthday girl herself:

 

 

The next morning, most of us were still pretty drunk; I think we’d barely managed to grab 4 hours’ sleep.  Matt came over at 9am, barefoot, drunk, and covered in sand – turns out he’d fallen asleep on the beach with a stranger!

We all went out for a glorious breakfast in the Uplands Diner, where we nursed our hangovers and dissected the shenanigans of the previous evening.  It was awesome. 

Matt had “The Beast Breakfast”. It was truly a sight to behold.

That afternoon, feeling pretty worse for wear, I dragged my sorry butt to band practice.  I’m glad I made the effort though, because it was lots of fun.

This weekend was awesome – incredibly tiring, but awesome.  I feel so blessed to have such wonderful friends around me, all of whom are incredibly supportive of my creative projects, and incredibly forgiving of my drunken mistakes.

—

Gig news: reminder that I’m performing at the Swansea Feminist Network music fundraiser next Friday at 9pm! Details here.

Things I’ve been up to, May ’13

Performing

Uplands Tavern, May 13

I’ve performed at a few more open mic nights in May, including The Uplands Tavern and The Kilkenny Cat.  Both went very well, and both venues said they would be happy to have me back there again yay!  FYI, I have 2 more gigs coming up this month – details can be found on the “live” page of my website.  I’m trying to get into a habit of playing at least twice a month, if not 4 times a month, while I find my feet and keep writing new material.  With every new gig, I feel a little less nervous and a little more confident in my abilities!  Everyone has been so supportive, and I finally feel as if I am moving with a purpose.

Writing

I have started up a Harry Potter fanzine with my friends Kirsty and Emilie, titled ‘Sonorus: Feminist Perspectives on Harry Potter’!  Check out the submission guidelines here.  We’re so excited, and Emilie’s artwork for the project is amazing (see above)!

A few of my most recent blog posts been very well-received, including a story about getting drunk last weekend, and great ways to spend a lazy day. Here’s one that I loved that didn’t get much attention – a break-up letter to Doctor Who! Please read and share, it’s my partner Daf’s first guest post and I thought his critique of gender in the show was spot on!

Reading

I’ve been getting into lifestyle design recently, so have read some e-books on the topic, including The ‘Undeclared for Life’ Manifesto, and The Other Voice: 10 Things You Need to Know About Life.  I finally finished reading Woman Hating by Andrea Dworkin – it took me a little while to get into it, but after about 60 pages I was hooked!  I’ve just started Bill Bryson’s A Short History of Nearly Everything, which I can’t recommend enough if like me you are fascinated by the world we live in, but know embarrassingly little about it.

Wearing

Here are some photos from when I’ve remembered to document my outfits!

Eating

After reading this article on 10 superfoods for glowing skin, I’ve been trying to incorporate more of the mentioned foods into my diet, but especially avocado, radish, and oily fish.  Daf and I are currently on a healthy eating kick, as we can see that it’s having a very positive impact on alleviating my IBS symptoms and his occasional lethargy/sleep problems.  I am very blessed to have such a wonderful chef for a boyfriend.  Homemade healthy foods we’ve enjoyed recently include steamed cajun salmon, falafel and salad pitta breads, green smoothies, and sushi!

And finally, some things that have made me happy recently:

- The good weather. Finally, some sunshine!  My goth-white legs have no hope for a tan though.
- My improving fitness levels.  I’m still stuck on week 1 of Couch to 5K, but mostly because I’m only managing to go for a run once a week!  But I am making slow, steady process, and with each run I feel my stamina and strength developing.
- Herbal tea.  Current favourites at home include peppermint and fennel (great after a big meal), lavender and lemonbalm (great just before bed), and oolong (great when you’re all tea’d out!).
- Letter-writing!  So much nicer than email.
- Planning a holiday to Japan!  I’m going with my friend Lisa, who I’ve known through zines and letters for years.  I’m so excited!
- Starting my lovely new Paperblanks journal.  Nothing fills me with a renewed sense of hope and positivity like starting a new journal.

So I sometimes like to tweet while drunk.

I’m actually a big fan of drunk tweeting. I think it’s lots of fun, as long as the tweets are legible – of course, it does help that my friends are lots of fun when drunk! A lot of my twitter friends told me that they enjoyed the experience of following our drunken antics this weekend, so I thought I’d document it here.  Consider this an insight into my typical Saturday nights.

The night began as a fairly quiet one with my friend Kirsty at a bar, where we had some rather delicious looking cocktails, and equally delicious mexican food.

Mine and @mskirstyface‘s cocktails look so yummy! twitter.com/catherineelms/…

— Cath Elms (@catherineelms) May 25, 2013

The plan was to go back to hers and watch Les Mis over a glass of wine. Then, Caitlin got in touch and asked if a few of us wanted to hang out and drink wine together, so we went straight to hers instead and cracked open the Rosé‎ (with Tesco’s own brand vodka for the non-rosé‎ drinkers like myself). With Tegan and Sara playing in the background, so began the shenanigans.

Drinking with @mskirstyface, @wondercaitlin and @apathtea. We just sang a rousing round of ‘The Vengabus Is Coming’.

— Cath Elms (@catherineelms) May 25, 2013

Jesus is coming, the Vengabus is coming. Which would you prefer.

— James (@ApathTea) May 25, 2013

“Isn’t Jesus allowed on the Vengabus?!”
“No, because moralising is not permitted on the Vengabus.”

“I didn’t know you listened to Tegan and Sara?”"No, but I watch the Freederm advert!” @mskirstyface

— Cath Elms (@catherineelms) May 25, 2013

“Caitlin Moran was at Hay today, I was tempted to go in and chuck ‘Feminism is for everybody’ by bell hooks at her” – @wondercaitlin

— Cath Elms (@catherineelms) May 25, 2013

We’re currently listening to Will Smith’s greatest hits. Will Smith needs to start rapping about the films he’s in again.

— Cath Elms (@catherineelms) May 25, 2013

This led to us reminiscing about Wild Wild West and Men in Black, and whether his modern portfolio would lend itself as well to a titular rap song (‘I Am Legend’ anyone?).

The wine was flowing, but Twitter was moving far too slowly for my liking, so I resorted to updating my facebook status. That’s when you know you’ve drunk too much. I am not proud of myself.

Then I started harassing my friends about how much they’d drunk, because I was convinced that I was disproportionately drunk compared to everyone else. I tend to get considerably less shy when I’m drunk!

My favourite part of any night involving drinking is when @catherineelms starts getting aggressive about how much people haven’t drunk.

— Kirsty Rowles (@MsKirstyFace) May 25, 2013

After Will Smith’s greatest hits album finished, we took to YouTube and started listening to songs from our youth, including Ace of Base, Vengaboys, Blue, and N*Sync.

All that she wants is a council house. #toryaceofbase

— James (@ApathTea) May 25, 2013

“Is Desiree the one with 1 eye?”"No that’s Gabrielle”"No, I mean I got in a fight and glassed her the other night” – @apathtea

— Cath Elms (@catherineelms) May 25, 2013

“But in reality to whom does the stuff belong?” @catherineelms @apathtea @wondercaitlin

— Kirsty Rowles (@MsKirstyFace) May 26, 2013

Then someone suggested playing a drinking game called Ring of Fire. So we did.

“It’s like hitler said, in order to shine like the sun, you must first burn like the sun” – @apathtea on whether we shld play drinking games

— Cath Elms (@catherineelms) May 25, 2013

@kissakerho @catherineelms We fell into a burning ring of fire

— Caitlin Beth (@WonderCaitlin) May 26, 2013

And then it all got a bit surreal.

“MLK’s speech in German is like an exercise video – en viten children and en blacken children dancing hand in hand en children” – @apathtea

— Cath Elms (@catherineelms) May 25, 2013

I love you burrito

— rabbitportal (@rabbitportal) May 25, 2013

“I modelled my life on Brian from My parents are Aliens. It was a toss up between him and Ghandi”

— Cath Elms (@catherineelms) May 25, 2013

“I’m going to point Percy at the porcelain”

— Cath Elms (@catherineelms) May 25, 2013

@catherineelms just texted @daffyddturner with something she meant to say to me.

— Kirsty Rowles (@MsKirstyFace) May 25, 2013

And then we started reminiscing about Sabrina The Teenage Witch (“shame she’s a republican now”), and we watched a YouTube video called ‘The very best of Salem Saberhagen, part 1′.

Salem Saberhagen was the original lad.

— Cath Elms (@catherineelms) May 25, 2013

Salem Saberhagen faces @mskirstyface @wondercaitlin twitter.com/catherineelms/…

— Cath Elms (@catherineelms) May 26, 2013

I’m wearing an empty pillowcase on my head in that photo.

We did attempt to do our usual political and social justice discussions, but they didn’t really get off the ground.

“Men never get harassed in the street. You know, you dress up all nice…” – @apathtea

— Cath Elms (@catherineelms) May 25, 2013

Twatlin @wondercaitlin

— Cath Elms (@catherineelms) May 25, 2013

@catherineelms is the worst at thumbmaster.

— Kirsty Rowles (@MsKirstyFace) May 26, 2013

By now it was very late, and everyone decided that they really fancied some cheesy chips from Oasis, but didn’t fancy the 20 minute walk at 2am. So we called a taxi. On the way, someone commandeered my phone. I think it was Caitlin.

I’m Cath, waAaaaaaytyyytyytttytttfucjing he’ll boys

— Cath Elms (@catherineelms) May 26, 2013

Boys! Way! Phwoar!Lads!

— Cath Elms (@catherineelms) May 26, 2013

We stopped on the way to buy some strawbs from the off-license! We just went in and purchased a single strawb each from the bemused shopkeeper. “Will you just eat your strawb and stop kicking off?!”

Then we ate ALL of the chips, covered in all of the condiments. And we got a taxi home. And it was good.

When we got in, there were 2 glasses of wine left, so for some reason Kirsty and I downed them.

What. @mskirstyface made me finish off the wine and now I’m going to bed drunk and all I can taste is those garlic chips we shared

— Cath Elms (@catherineelms) May 26, 2013

You know it’s been a good night when it brings @mskirstyface to say, “I love you, but you have to leave my flat now.”

— Caitlin Beth (@WonderCaitlin) May 26, 2013

Kirsty and I took some photos in bed, because we randomly do that sometimes, posted the silliest one in the private (strictly serious feminism only) SFN group because it seemed like the BEST IDEA EVAR at the time, then we fell asleep, cwtched up in a drunken stupor. It was awesome.

Great ways to spend a lazy day

Sunday morning snoozing

I’ve had the best weekend.  On Friday night I went on a pizza-and-cinema date with my partner and our friends, then on Saturday we all went out for some drinks… which turned into a lot of drinks after a drinking game was suggested! We turned up to our friend’s house party drunk, and I tried my best to “act sober” so as not to embarrass myself; my plan was slightly ruined by the fact that I turned up in a giant rainbow sombrero. (Sorry Ali… so, so sorry.)

On Sunday, nursing slight hangovers, my partner and I had a long-overdue lazy day, which was very well-received after both of us had worked a lot of overtime during the week.  We had bacon and avocado sandwiches on seeded bread for brunch, and snuggled on the sofa watching movies on Netflix.

I usually like to keep myself busy, because I feel as if I should be accountable for every hour I spend… that said, I can get burnt out really quickly, especially if I’ve been working extra hours at my office job, so sometimes a lazy day is just what I need.  It’s also nice when I’ve had a few busy weekends in a row – I like to indulge in all the little pleasures I haven’t had time for.  So here are some of my favourite ways to spend a lazy day!

via indivisualjournal.tumblr.com

Duvet day.  That is, an entire day in bed, usually with a laptop, a book, some good TV/films, and yummy snacks to hand.  The occasional bathroom trip will be required, as well as a jaunt to the kitchen to bring some foods back to bed with you.  Don’t be afraid to fall asleep!

Indulgent brunch.  During my working week I have a boring breakfast every morning – either porridge or weetabix – so when I’m having a lazy day I like to experiment with different breakfasts/brunches – fruit and yoghurt, unusual toasted sandwich fillings, pancakes, french toast, full english, etc.  BBC Good Food have a delicious selection of brunch recipes here!

Netflix marathon.  There are so many good TV shows and films there.  I’m currently making my way through The Office US!  If you don’t have a Netflix subscription, DVD boxsets are a good alternative.

Read.  Catch up on your reading; snuggle up on the sofa and get lost in a weighty tome.  My Sunday reading book is Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace.

Tend to the garden.  Nothing makes me feel more alive and peaceful than being surrounded by things I’ve grown myself.

via mmfloves.tumblr.com

Bubble bath!  Choose an indulgent bath foam, light some candles, put some nice music on in the background, and have a good soak. (or, if you want a more visceral/playful experience, try some Gellibaff, which turns your bath water into a pink soapy jelly!)

Get creative.  Do you draw, paint, write, collage, play an instrument, sing, dance, etc?  Spend some of your free time with your craft.

A countryside walk. Not strictly the laziest of lazy day activities, but it feels so good to get out in the open and admire the beautiful countryside scenery at a leisurely pace.  Walk 4 Life is a resource that allows you to search for walking routes in your local area by length, difficulty, and landmarks (seaside, village, etc).

via libertyshouts.wordpress.com

Catch up on correspondence, whether it’s writing letters, reaching Inbox Zero, or phoning old friends (who phones anyone anymore? It feels good to do once in a while!).  It feels great to touch base with people you haven’t made time for recently.

Chill out with a pet.  Don’t have one? Offer to petsit!  Cats and dogs make the best snuggle companions.

Adventure Time Monopoly! Want!

Play a board game. When was the last time you did that?  My favourites are Cluedo, Pictionary, and Forbidden Island.  On a future lazy weekend, Daf and I are hoping to finally play Arkham Horror: A Call of Cthulhu, which usually lasts about 3 hours!

Guest blog: a break-up letter to Doctor Who

Dear Doctor,

I never thought I’d write this letter but I’m left with no other choice. To get to the point: I don’t think we should see each other anymore. This was not an easy decision and it’s definitely one I’ve been struggling with for some time but you’re just not the Doctor I fell in love with, you’ve changed so much and I just can’t keep living in the hope that you’ll change back to the man you used to be and stop pissing me off.

I still remember the day we first met all those years ago back in 2005. You burst into my life and it was love at first sight, how could it have been anything else? You came out of nowhere and suddenly my life had adventure, fun, excitement and danger and our weekly dates were something I looked forward to and will always cherish.

After a few months you thawed and became a different man. You still had the charm and charisma you had from the start but now this was accompanied with a cheeky smile and less of a dark persona. Sure, you still had the scars and depth you’d been carrying for some time, but you now seemed to embrace life more and took each day with a fun-loving swagger. With a flick of your coat you’d take me on more weekly dates and the adventures took on a whole new aspect. Your ‘survivor’s guilt’ seemed to all but diminish, you were outgoing and joyful.

Years went by and I was happy. Things were fantastic! There were ups and downs, of course there were, it would be ridiculous to assume there wouldn’t be. But we weathered every storm and kept on going. You were still prone to moments of dark introspection, but you didn’t let yourself get too preoccupied with them.

But then you changed again. I hoped it would be ok and we’d just go about our adventures like we always had but things just weren’t right, something was a little bit off. Ideas would appear and rather than coming together neatly, there were loose ends everywhere. Things that could’ve been interesting and clever became either convoluted or totally forgotten about. Your character would swing wildly from one extreme to another, bouncing from one grandiose speech to another. The adventures stopped being ‘fun’. Rather than have a companion who was resourceful and could’ve easily gone on and had a life of fulfilment even if you hadn’t crossed paths with them, you’ve seemingly become obsessed with companions who were puzzles, rather than being equals and friends they were just mysteries to be solved.

But now… You’re *literally* not the man you used to be. When you said of your current companion “… the mystery, wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a skirt that’s just a little too tight.” You made my skin crawl. You wouldn’t have said that in 2005. You wouldn’t have said that in 2006. I don’t think you would’ve even said that in 2010. It was a horrible and creepy thing to say. Even if you’d said “skirt that was just a little too short” that would’ve maybe just been a phrase that revealed a slightly prudish side to your character, you are quite an older gentleman after all. But no, you said “tight”. This said to me that you’ve been looking at your companion with more than friendly or loving eyes, you were looking at her and reduced her to a sex object. Something to be lusted after. Your puzzles and mysteries aren’t just for solving anymore, there’s now a hint of sexual side to it which is just vile. It almost suggests that there will be a level of sexual gratification when you do solve the puzzle.

So I’ve decided to move on. I won’t be with you on your adventures anymore. I wish you could appreciate just how hard and upsetting this is for me, I’ve adored you since we first met and cutting you out of my life won’t be easy. You might change again at some point in the future and we could feasibly bump into each other, but for now I think it’s best if we go our separate ways. I hope you can one day rediscover yourself and find someone you can travel with and have a mutual respect for, someone who doesn’t need solving.

Your friend in time,

D.

—

This is  guest post by my partner Daf Turner!  Daf is a VFX artist, writer, and sci-fi geek.  You can follow him on Twitter or tumblr.

What I’ve Been Reading, April ’13

by Allie Brosh

As you know, I’m an avid google reader fan (and of course was devastated to hear the news that it’s being closed down – if anyone has any recommendations for alternatives, hit me up!) and every lunchtime I digest many articles via my reader feed.  So, without any further ado, here are my favourite things I’ve been reading over the last month or so!   Bit of a mixed bag, so there should be something here to cater to most tastes

Hyperbole and a Half is back, with a poignant and insightful tale of the author’s struggle with depression.

Did you hear about broadcaster Stuart Hall, who sexually assaulted a number of young girls?  A leading barrister has labelled his actions ”low-level misdemeanors” and thinks we should reduce the age of consent to 13 to stop so many do-gooders from “fetishising victimhood”.   Heaven forbid a formerly respected man might have actually raped and assaulted children(!) The F Word analyses everything that’s wrong with this statement beautifully.

A Doctor Who fan does the impossible and maps the TARDIS interior! Amazing! 

The problem with Dove’s latest “real beauty” campaign.

Canadian zinester/author Maranda Elizabeth writes about jealousy, and recently finding themselves the target of other people’s jealousy.

Feminist theology blog ‘Women in Theology’ on the portrayal of mental illness and self-forgiveness in ‘Silver Linings Playbook’.

Loved this – ‘Bad Reputation’ on mermaid mythology and the Disney adaptation of ‘The Little Mermaid’.

Not clever but still funny – Buzzfeed on the 26 most annoying things about working in an office.  I can particularly relate to #6!

Zombie Industries sells female mannequin shooting target called “the ex”: read Feministing’s take on it here.

My twitter friend @nice_reminder linked me to this informative comic on Dr Andrew Wakefield’s fallacious MMR/autism claims, and why we should be suspicious of his motives.

Is this the worst case of mansplaining ever?!  Yuck!

This is perfect. A cartoon about rape culture.

Did you see Loki’s new hairdo in the Thor: The Dark World trailer? The Mary Sue documents tumblr’s reaction; I love Ginger Haze’s the best!

Awesome blog on why Ched Evans was not the victim of a miscarriage of justice, as his defenders are trying to claim (defenders who are also overwhelmingly victim-blaming, ugghhh).

I only recently discovered Gala Darling’s lovely blog, and this blog on alternative date night ideas is one of my favourites! An oldie, but a goodie.

Back in Steubenville, rape culture is still winning as football coach’s contract is renewed: 
http://bit.ly/15Hf3Dd

Soc Images on how we can engage men in the efforts to end sexual assault.

The Mary Sue are writing a detailed synopsis and review of every Doctor Who episode in this series, and their analysis of gender politics is usually spot on.  Check out the latest review, ‘The Crimson Horror’  (as an aside, my friend Tracey has started using the phrase ‘The Crimson Horror’ as a euphemism for a period, ha).

(Props to Gala Darling for this feature format.)