I never thought I’d write this letter but I’m left with no other choice. To get to the point: I don’t think we should see each other anymore. This was not an easy decision and it’s definitely one I’ve been struggling with for some time but you’re just not the Doctor I fell in love with, you’ve changed so much and I just can’t keep living in the hope that you’ll change back to the man you used to be and stop pissing me off.
I still remember the day we first met all those years ago back in 2005. You burst into my life and it was love at first sight, how could it have been anything else? You came out of nowhere and suddenly my life had adventure, fun, excitement and danger and our weekly dates were something I looked forward to and will always cherish.
After a few months you thawed and became a different man. You still had the charm and charisma you had from the start but now this was accompanied with a cheeky smile and less of a dark persona. Sure, you still had the scars and depth you’d been carrying for some time, but you now seemed to embrace life more and took each day with a fun-loving swagger. With a flick of your coat you’d take me on more weekly dates and the adventures took on a whole new aspect. Your ‘survivor’s guilt’ seemed to all but diminish, you were outgoing and joyful.
Years went by and I was happy. Things were fantastic! There were ups and downs, of course there were, it would be ridiculous to assume there wouldn’t be. But we weathered every storm and kept on going. You were still prone to moments of dark introspection, but you didn’t let yourself get too preoccupied with them.
But then you changed again. I hoped it would be ok and we’d just go about our adventures like we always had but things just weren’t right, something was a little bit off. Ideas would appear and rather than coming together neatly, there were loose ends everywhere. Things that could’ve been interesting and clever became either convoluted or totally forgotten about. Your character would swing wildly from one extreme to another, bouncing from one grandiose speech to another. The adventures stopped being ‘fun’. Rather than have a companion who was resourceful and could’ve easily gone on and had a life of fulfilment even if you hadn’t crossed paths with them, you’ve seemingly become obsessed with companions who were puzzles, rather than being equals and friends they were just mysteries to be solved.
But now… You’re *literally* not the man you used to be. When you said of your current companion “… the mystery, wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a skirt that’s just a little too tight.” You made my skin crawl. You wouldn’t have said that in 2005. You wouldn’t have said that in 2006. I don’t think you would’ve even said that in 2010. It was a horrible and creepy thing to say. Even if you’d said “skirt that was just a little too short” that would’ve maybe just been a phrase that revealed a slightly prudish side to your character, you are quite an older gentleman after all. But no, you said “tight”. This said to me that you’ve been looking at your companion with more than friendly or loving eyes, you were looking at her and reduced her to a sex object. Something to be lusted after. Your puzzles and mysteries aren’t just for solving anymore, there’s now a hint of sexual side to it which is just vile. It almost suggests that there will be a level of sexual gratification when you do solve the puzzle.
So I’ve decided to move on. I won’t be with you on your adventures anymore. I wish you could appreciate just how hard and upsetting this is for me, I’ve adored you since we first met and cutting you out of my life won’t be easy. You might change again at some point in the future and we could feasibly bump into each other, but for now I think it’s best if we go our separate ways. I hope you can one day rediscover yourself and find someone you can travel with and have a mutual respect for, someone who doesn’t need solving.
Your friend in time,